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San Jose Divorce Attorney > Blog > Child Custody Visitation > Tips For Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce

Tips For Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce


When you share minor children with your ex and you will be co-parenting after a divorce or separation, it is important to learn about ways to make co-parenting successful. Co-parenting when you share child custody can be stressful, especially if you have different parenting practices and styles than your ex, or if you have a particularly contentious or difficult relationship with your ex. Yet in most circumstances, unless there are clear reasons to deny your ex’s parenting rights, you will likely need to engage in at least some form of co-parenting. The following are tips for successful co-parenting with your ex.

Agree on Rules for Your Children 

Even if you and your ex have different parenting styles, it is important to agree on rules for your kids at both of your households and to be consistent, as an article in Psychology Today underscores. For instance, you should agree on a general bedtime, rules for finishing homework, and rules for spending time out with friends if your kids are older. The more consistent you are, the easier it will be for you and your ex to handle any issues with your kids that arise.

Do Not Discuss Issues Concerning Your Ex When Your Children Are Present 

You should never discuss any ongoing issues or concerns about your ex in front of your children. Even if you and your ex are still in disagreement over certain issues or cannot see eye-to-eye when it comes to specific parenting matters, those issues should never be discussed with your kids.

Find Ways to Communicate with Your Ex that Work for You 

Communicating with your ex when you share minor children can be difficult, but it is also necessary in many circumstances. However, you should keep in mind that you can find a communication method that works best for you (and for your ex) and suits your communication needs. For example, even if you are having trouble communicating with your ex after a difficult divorce or separation and do not want to have to meet in person or speak on the phone, you can agree to communicate only by electronic means (such as email or text) and only between certain hours unless there is an emergency. There are also many different apps that help to facilitate communication in co-parenting that you can add to your phone, for example.

Create a Shared Calendar 

It is usually essential in any shared parenting situation to have a shared calendar so that each parent has access to information about the child’s activities, their own pick-up and drop-off responsibilities, doctor’s appointments where applicable, and any other information that would belong on a calendar and that both parents need to have. With a shared calendar, it is also possible to add information or to communicate with one another concerning a specific extracurricular activity or event.

Contact Our San Jose Family Law Attorneys 

If you have questions about California child custody, or concerns about co-parenting, an experienced San Jose child custody attorney at our firm can assist you. We regularly provide assistance to families with a wide variety of child custody issues, and we can speak with you today about your circumstances. Contact Foster Hsu, LLP to learn more.



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